How to Get a Guy to Stop Dating Other Girls & Get Exclusive With You
When should you have the chat about being exclusive? If you want to learn how to get a guy to stop dating other girls, it all comes down to the talk.
Early relationship chats are pretty awkward, right? You don’t want to say anything that’s going to scare him away. At the same time, you really want to know how to get a guy to stop dating other girls and whether you’re wasting your time or not.
They all say, go with the flow or lighten up and see what happens. If you’re anything like me, you’re not very good at that. I’m not into wasting my time. If I like a guy, I want to know that he’s on the same page as me.
The problem is, jumping in too quickly to figure that information out has landed me in a few sticky situations. Thankfully, I’ve learned from it. I can pass on my words of wisdom to you!
If you want to know how to get a guy to stop dating other girls and to become exclusive, you simply must have the chat about what you are and where you’re at.
[Read: What does exclusive mean and the steps that show you’re at this stage]
You also should think carefully about whether you want to continue seeing a guy who you are pretty sure is seeing other girls behind your back. I mean, there’s ‘seeing’ and there’s ‘seeing’. You should be sure that if he’s sleeping with other girls *assuming you’re okay with this* that he’s being safe.
How to get a guy to stop dating other girls – It’s about him, not you
Firstly, understand that a guy who wants to date other girls and who doesn’t really want to be exclusive is not going to have his mind changed simply because you want him to stop. It should come from him. He has to want to only be with you and not with anyone else.
If he refuses this, think carefully about your next move. Do you want to be with someone who doesn’t want an exclusive relationship? You might be okay with this. In that case, carry on. However, the fact you’re reading an article about how to get a guy to stop dating other girls tells me that you’re not fine with it at all.
[Read: 20 signs you’re wasting time in a one sided relationship]
There is no right and wrong time to have the talk about whether you’re ready to be exclusive or not. However, around the first or second month is fine. It depends on the couple. Usually, after six weeks of regular dates, you should be pretty clear in your mind on whether you want to enter into a real relationship or not. He should also be clear on whether or not he wants the same.
You also have to think about what you’re doing. Are you seeing other people? In that case, you need to stop too. You can’t expect to figure out how to get a guy to stop dating other girls if you’re doing the same thing!
[Read: How to date multiple guys without being shady or called a cheater]
Should he even be dating other girls?
Ah, the million dollar question.
This is such a grey area. Firstly, if you’re not in a relationship and you’re simply dating, i.e. you’re going on a few dates and seeing how well you get along, there is nothing you can say about him seeing other girls and doing the same. You’re not committed. You’ve not spoken about whether or not you’re okay with this.
However, after you’ve had the exclusivity chat, if he continues to see other girls despite your wishes for him not to, you must wonder whether he has any intention of this dating situation to become anything more serious. The chances are that he doesn’t. [Read: Dating vs. Relationship: 14 signs to know your real status]
In that case, has he agreed to be in a relationship with you and you’ve made it clear you don’t want him seeing other people? If he continues to do so, he’s disrespecting your feelings and *arguably* cheating.
Many people think that a guy shouldn’t be seeing anyone else other than them from even the first date, but in this day and age it’s a pretty tough line to draw. You haven’t made promises or committed to each other, so you’re actually free to do whatever you want, provided you’re being safe with whatever that is.
However, if you’re starting to develop feelings and don’t like the fact that he’s seeing other girls, it’s time to speak up. [Read: How to ask him if he’s seeing someone else minus the awkwardness]
Wait until at least one month of regular dating has passed. This means you’ve been seeing each other on a consistent basis and spending time together. It also means that the dating situation has to be progressing, e.g. you’re sharing more experiences together, you’re opening up to one another and talking about your lives. It doesn’t mean you must have slept together. But it does mean that you’re close to one another in an emotional way.
After that, it’s perfectly fine to talk about being exclusive. Don’t worry about diving in there too soon after this point. If you carry on and you really don’t like him dating other girls too, you’re simply going to get hurt. It’s not worth risking your feelings for a little worry about whether he’s going to freak out and run away. If he does, well, he’s not the guy for you.
Does being exclusive mean you’re in a firm relationship?
Not necessarily, no.
Being exclusive basically means that you’re prioritizing the time you spend together with a view to it becoming something more serious. It doesn’t mean you’re necessarily there yet. You’re making progress and a relationship is definitely in the cards.
[Read: Dating exclusively but not in a relationship? The grey area dilemma]
It’s almost like a halfway point between the first date and official relationship status. It’s a sign of intent. A sign that something might be on the horizon.
Many people make the mistake of assuming that it’s done deal when you decide to be exclusive, but be cautious and simply go with the flow a little. There is a lot you still don’t know about this guy. You’ve now got the time to get to know him better. The fact that you know he’s not opening up to other girls gives you the peace of mind and freedom to explore the budding relationship in a deeper way. [Read: 12 sure signs he wants to be exclusive and committed to only you]
Remember that figuring out how to get a guy to stop dating other girls really isn’t about trying to get him to stop doing something that he doesn’t want to do. There is no guy on this planet that will agree to stop this if he doesn’t want to. He’s simply going to tell you that he isn’t up for an exclusive relationship.
Then it will be up to you to decide whether you want to continue with it or not. In that case, and if you really can’t handle him seeing other girls, walk away and find someone who wants the same things that you do.
[Read: A reason to panic? What does seeing other people really mean?]
Understanding how to get a guy to stop dating other girls literally comes down to explaining your feelings. Then, ask for his view on it. If he wants the same thing, that’s great. If not, leave the situation with your head held high.
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