15 Rules for Dating a Married Woman to Avoid a Messy Web of Drama

Though it’s a dangerous path, you’re not the first person to date a married woman. But you need to follow these special rules for dating a married woman.

I should start by telling you that I think this is a bad idea. You may love her, she may tell you she’s going to leave her husband, but she’s not. I know you think she’s different, but she’s not. At the same time, you may like dating married women because they’re already committed. Whatever the reason, you’re dating someone married, so at least learn the rules for dating a married woman.

Though it may seem harmless, I think you can do better than being with someone who’s already married. Not to mention, if her husband finds out, you’ll be in big trouble… unless he’s into that thing. Then it’s a win-win for all! [Read: The big debate around cheating and confessing]

15 rules for dating a married woman

But here’s the thing, when you’re dating a married woman, there are some things you’re going to have to know. Things that only apply when dating married people.

Are you going to be able to post your relationship on social media? That would be a big no. These small things are important to keep in mind because your relationship will most likely be kept in secret.

So, if you just started or are thinking about dating a married woman, it’s time you knew the rules. That way, you make sure that you don’t break them. If you break some of these rules, you tangle yourself in a web of drama.

Know the rules for dating a married woman before you start.

#1 Remember she’s married. You need to get this in your head. She’s not going to leave her husband, her stable life for you. As long as you know your limits, it’ll be fine. But if you’re starting to feel something for her or if you’re doing this to be with her, stop. The only thing that’s going to break is your heart. It’s cheesy but true. [Read: Understanding your boundaries in dating]

#2  Stay away from her house. Are you crazy? Stay far away from her house. Don’t go inside. She’s not a serial killer, but if her husband happens to come home while you’re there, you’re gonna be in big trouble.

It’s clear you don’t respect her marriage, entering into her home is just another level of disrespect. Bring her to your place, a hotel, in the back of your car, whatever. [Read: The guide to help you respect women]

#3 Your lips need to be sealed. She’s not going to be telling anyone about this which means you need to keep your mouth shut. One of the biggest rules for dating a married woman is that you can’t tell anyone about this relationship. If someone finds out, they can accidentally spread it, creating a rumor that you’re going to have to deal with. Keep your relationship on the down-low and don’t tell anyone what you’re doing.

#4 No social media postings. You can’t post any photos or posts about her. Don’t post on social media where you are with her nor make any hints that you’re with a mysterious woman. This relationship has to be as though it’s non-existent. So, put your phone away when you’re with her because you don’t need it. [Read: Understanding the good, bad, and ugly with social media and relationships]

#5 Set the boundaries. You need to sit down right in the beginning of your relationship and set the ground rules. If not, you leave an opportunity for things to become misinterpreted and messy. For example, one boundary could be that you don’t sleep over at each other’s places.

#6 Stick to your daily routine. If you suddenly change your routine the moment you start sleeping with a married woman, people are going to notice. Instead, keep to your regular routine. Your routine defines you, so stay close to it. The time you go to the gym, when you get off work, keep it as normal as possible.

#7 Don’t accept gifts from her. If you’re a sugar baby then it’s different. But if she’s paying for everything, you may want to equalize that. You don’t want to feel like you owe her anything. You’re sleeping with her and that’s it. There can be nothing more than that. [Read: The sugar momma guide and how to bag yourself a wealthy older lady]

#8 Switch up the hotels you go to. If you’re going to have sex, it’s not going to be at her place. So, if you decide to go to a hotel, make sure that you switch them up. You don’t necessarily want the staff to start recognizing you. If someone comes asking questions about you, you don’t need them saying anything.

#9 Pay in cash. Unless you want to make a “the time I had an affair with a married woman” scrapbook, don’t pay with credit. If possible, stick to paying with cash, so that you can’t have people pointing fingers at you. Credit cards leave a trace, keep that in mind. [Read: The surprising reasons behind why women cheat]

#10 Don’t buy her gifts. Again, you’re not with her. She has a husband at home, and if he sees she’s wearing a new necklace or sexy underwear, he’s going to start asking questions. Don’t buy her personal things that are going to remind her of you. This isn’t a regular relationship, remember?

#11 Trust that she’s being careful. You actually don’t know what she’s doing when you part ways. Does she shower after you have been together? Delete your messages? You need to know these things because you’re also in this relationship as well.

#12 Don’t befriend her husband. You’re already being a disrespectful asshole towards someone’s marriage *sorry, had to say it*. So, don’t, please, befriend her husband. That is some psychotic shit. This will only lead to a disaster and hurt him even more than not knowing who his wife is sleeping with. 

#13 How will you communicate? You just can’t call her whenever you’d like. Figure this out before you make a misstep. If you want to keep this relationship a secret then you need to make sure you choose a secure form of communication. No emails. No home phone calls. No texts.

#14 Leave if she starts to develop feelings. Listen, you may like the fact that she’s falling for you, but this is about to get very messy. She’s cheating on her husband with you. You don’t think she’ll do the same to you? Plus, she’s not emotionally over her husband, so, whether you want to believe it or not, you’re going to be a rebound. [Read: Right person, wrong time? The key to timing it all right]

#15 If you start to have feelings–end it. That’s right, you can’t be falling in love with a woman who’s married. If you notice yourself starting to develop feelings, it’s time to cut it. The only person who’s going to hurt is you.

She’s not going to leave her cushy life, that’s why she didn’t leave him by now. So, protect yourself at all times.

[Read:  The right reasons to breakup with someone you love]

If you’re choosing to date a married woman, I would think twice before doing it. But, if you’ve made up your mind, follow these rules for dating a married woman so you don’t mess your life up.

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